My father died when I was 22. It was such a bad thing that happened and it really made me think. It gave me one of the ‘aha’ moments in my life which changed my life completely. I realised that if I continued living the same lifestyle that I had been before, I would probably die in the same way. He had colon cancer and until that point I lived just like him.
I was very overweight, I ate very few vegetables, but after he died I decided to change this. I started running with my brother. When I first started, I could run two kilometres in half an hour… people literally walk faster than that! But half a year later I did a 10k race in an hour and a half. And two years later that was only 1 hour. I lost 35kg without a special diet, just by changing my lifestyle and state of mind.
It was the first time I started to think about my body differently, not as a curse, but as a blessing. I had always been fat, and I’d always had a bad body image of myself. When I was in high school I was bullied a lot about my size and I’d never had a boyfriend. It was part of my identity. I was the fat one.
But then I started seeing my body not as something that I have to suffer with but as my vehicle that’s taking me places. If I don’t take care of it, I’m not going to be able to enjoy this experience called life for as long as I want to.
I’ve been an artist since I was little. My mother explained to me recently that when I was a kid I would never come to say ‘hi’ when somebody came to visit. Instead I would lock myself in my room for 5-10 minutes first. Then finally I’d come out and present the visitor with a drawing as a gift.
I gave up the idea of being an artist from the age of 11 onwards. For many years I never really thought about it again. I had been influenced by culture and other people who said that you could never survive as an artist. I never agreed with these sentences but they made their way inside of me somehow.
A few years ago, I went for a walk in a forest and asked myself a question: “If I could live financially securely, and live the life I want where would I be and what would I do?” I realised I would just paint all day.
So I just decided to do it. I started to understand that if I want to be an artist I have to give that title to myself. If anybody else gave it to me, it still wouldn’t feel good enough. I know some people who have a diploma in art and they tell me that they also don’t feel like an artist.
I realised the next difficult part was telling my mother. I was going to drop out of school and I expected that she would push me to finish the faculty. She wanted me to get my degree because everything should become easier when you’ve got one.
I went home, told her, and she really listened to me! I told her that I have this need inside of me to at least give it a try. I could always go back to school, but if I missed these years when I’m so passionate about my art, they might never happen again. She really surprised me by being okay with it…
Want to see some of Urška’s work? Jump over to her Facebook page to check out her spiritual masterpieces! 🙂
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