Everything recently came together for me. I realised that having a steady job is actually great for me right now, and I can feel relaxed about my finances. I had such a mess with them in the past few years. I was broke all the time, and now I’m sick of being broke.
I’m very unfocused and I’m interested in one bazillion things. I’ve noticed that I have so many ideas that I start, but many of them drop off really quickly. I’m the person who likes to start a fire, but I don’t like maintaining it. So then i go to the next one, and the next one… I need to find something that is so ‘fuck yeah’ that I decide to stick with it.
I feel so relaxed now that I have more time to think about what I actually want, and I’m not pressured about money while I’m doing it. I decided to take it easy, because one year ago I had a burn out and I was a total mess. I did a lot of reflection and now I’m really trying to go in one direction and keep low, without doing too many projects…
I was always busy and all over the place. I studied, I had a student job, I ran a Public Relations NGO, I’m part of TEDx too. It was completely normal for me to come home at 11:00pm, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day.
While I was a student this was okay. If I really wanted to I could skip a class to sleep, and I could travel during the summer, so I was able to reset. When I started working, I still maintained this lifestyle and the stress was horrible.
I realised I expect way too much of myself, but in order to do anything worthwhile I need to take care of myself!
The most exciting thing I realised in the past year is that most of the time I’ve stopped caring what other people think about me. It’s quite good because when I was a kid I was this really shy girl, and I needed confirmation from everyone around me.
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