I was born in Belgrade while it was still Yugoslavia but my childhood was spent in Rijeka. I grew up without a father figure so my Mum had to do both parts. I didn’t have that many friends as a kid. After the war there was still a lot of conflict between Serbs and Croats. The kids knew where I was from and kids can be merciless bastards, so they teased me quite a lot. I wouldn’t say I was bullied though. Because of the temperament my mother gave me I knew how to handle myself. She taught me to stand my ground.
It’s the best feeling to be weird. Since 14 I was a goth so my image was quite radical. In Zagreb I started this whole fetish scene and people really opened up. For me it starts with image. When people see you it takes them to their expectations. When people see you looking radically different they expect a radically different persona. So you engage people in conversations and you express different views of the world and you explain to them how your views of the world work. You can show people that there is another way, because maybe they don’t even know.
We should talk about things more. Even if you don’t agree you should be exposed to it so you can decide on your own. If you’re up for it or not. You shouldn’t just believe in something because your parents did and society did…
There are times in life you should just go for it, it happened to me with my marriage actually. We met for the first time seven years ago. One New Years Eve we somehow ended up celebrating together. A few weeks later I decided to come to Ljubljana for two weeks or a month to see what happens. It went from basic to pretty fabulous instantly.
Back then Croatia wasn’t part of the EU so I could only stay for three months and then I would have to go back again. I moved here in January and I think it was Valentines Day he proposed. It’s now our seventh year together now and it’s crazy! We’ve learnt that you should be open about everything. You need to communicate all the time. There’s no secret recipe, just find somebody you really like, not just somebody you’re with because they like you.
I’m struggling with the realisation that that there is no linear path you should follow. It’s literally just day-to-day mapping out of your life as it goes. We’ve been programmed to think in sections. During my twenties I think I was smart enough to never let go of myself. I realised I should keep on reading, keep educating myself, keep asking myself who I am. I do that constantly so when the big thirties came I wasn’t that scared.
I’m wondering what the future brings. You’ve got to map it out a little, but not too far out, because it needs to be an adventure after all.
I would kill myself if my life was just one static repetition day after day.
Certainty is an illusion. You could have a heart-attack right now, or you could be in a car accident, anything can happen. Our existence is fragile. That’s why I believe in the cliche of taking every day and enjoying it as much as you can. Life can get hard, and I like that. It shapes you. What kind of life would it be if life was perfect? Some of the biggest lessons came from some of life’s most difficult challenges. When I was jobless, when I was without money, when I had friends who were suffering. You discover parts about yourself that were never engaged before.
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