“I think I’m searching for happiness. Sometimes I question if it even exists. Or if it’s just a concept that this capitalist world has created to make us feel unhappy and like we always need to be doing something more to reach happiness.
I’ve been through really bad times when I didn’t believe in happiness. And I’ve been through really peak moments when I finally realised what happiness is. I think sometimes we confuse happiness as a permanent thing, when maybe it’s just temporary. We think that the goal is to be as happy as we feel in these temporary moments. But my goal is to be happy forever. Not as intensely happy as these temporary fleeting moments, but a more sustained fulfilment.
When I was 26 or 27 I had a nice house, a stable relationship and a good job. It was at that point I realised that I was extremely unhappy. I found myself questioning if this was all life was supposed to be. The next steps were getting married and having kids and I remember thinking “if this is life, then I don’t like it!”…
I decided to move back in with my parents and I started to feel really empty inside. I questioned what I was doing for the world and wondered about the footprint I was going to leave behind.
I realised I needed to change my life. So I saved up for nine months, I quit my job, I took my backpack and I went to India. I had always been attracted to India for some reason. I needed that cultural shock where it felt like I had entered another world. And India was another world.
I came back to Murcia last August. I remember realising that even travelling is a routine. You meet new people, you have fun experiences, you move on and meet more new people and tell them about these experiences. It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, life will have some kind of routine.
If you learn to be happy with simple things – sunsets, looking at the sea – then you can be happy anywhere.
Since being back, there were a few times where I thought about leaving and going somewhere new. Perhaps I could move to another country and start a new life. But I’ve decided that, right now, my purpose is to actually stay in one place for some time. I need to develop roots and learn to be happy. My tendency is to want to leave, to travel, to do all these exciting things. But I want to learn to be happy in the same place with a simple life.”
Become a member
Access exclusive stories, attend special events and join our online safe space. All for free.
Best of the blog
Take a look at the favourite blog posts and podcast episodes from How To Be Human.