“I find myself unable to relax. I think normal people stop and take some time off if they have nothing urgent to do, but not me. I’m always thinking of the things that need to be done. It’s most likely because of my parents and the environment I was brought up in. We were always doing something and that was the only thing that was valued. We learned that your productivity is what matters the most and if you don’t do something you’re just losing your day and wasting your time.
I think my inner self is the most difficult thing in my life. Life would be so much easier and more simple if I thought a little differently about myself and my ideas about certain things. It’s important to change your perception. You have to try and understand what you feel, not try to change it, but just try and react to it. When I diagnose a problem, I always try to focus on the solution.
“I try to run away from my problems towards solutions.”
My confidence has grown a lot over the past five years. At the age of sixteen I had really really low self-esteem and I just wasn’t comfortable with myself. I was afraid of just going into a store and asking something from the shopping assistant. It sounds ridiculous. Since then I’ve done a lot. I moved away from home. I travelled a bit by myself.
My biggest fear is about not being true to myself. Maybe I’m thinking too much, but right now I’m a good student, I have great marks and I was able to get a scholarship in Glasgow. But I’m afraid that I will just continue pushing this image of me, you know, the good student and the good naval architect. I might find that I don’t even like it, or it won’t be the best option for me, but because I like this good image of myself so much that I can’t face myself and say ‘Ana, I don’t think this is who you are.’ “
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